98 Degrees just lukewarm

One more boy group and I'm going to snap.

Handlers for 98 Degrees, performing Sunday in Dinwoodie Lounge, tried and failed twice to set up a phone interview with The Edmonton Sun. I don't care.

"We write and sing our own songs," they might have said, or "People said the Beatles wouldn't last either," or "We're different than the Backstreet Boys."

Heard it all before.

This Ohio-based foursome is also doing an autograph session at West Edmonton Mall's HMV store at 2 p.m. on Sunday. Do we really need to get new quotes from the same horde of breathless girls?

"I like (insert name of favourite boy here: "Justin" or "Lance," for instance)!" one might squeal. "He's so cute!"

"They're awesome!" a mini-skirted 14-year-old might gush.

Then there's the show. Could we expect anything other than five, sorry, four good-looking boys, er, grown men dancing and singing to factory-produced sweet nothings for 45 minutes? Will they look or sound significantly different than any other boy group out there? Of course not.

For the record, 98 Degrees have described themselves as "the white Boyz II Men," as if this is a good thing. Their latest album, 98* and Rising, falls firmly into the "boy-group" genre - sugary production, safely funky beats and overdramatic exhalations of puppy love rendered in two flavours: creamy ballads or fizzy dance numbers. Since this group is American, you can assume 98 Degrees is in Fahrenheit. In other words, lukewarm. Next! (Aieee! "Next" just happens to be the name of another boy group. There is no escape.)

There are signs the boy group hype machine is overheating. Like disco in the late '70s and grunge in the mid-'90s, a glut of sound-alike acts generally signals the death of a trend. Your daughter's wall must be getting crowded: Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, V.I.P., Boyzone, 98 Degrees, Next, Hanson, the Moffatts, Sky, Othello, Ultra, C-Note, Savage Garden and 5ive are just a few of the boy groups aiming straight for the hearts - and allowances - of teenage girls. There's only so much love to go around.

It's hilarious that aging New Kids on the Block Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre waited until now to make their comebacks - when the whole thing might end at any moment! Their presence on the scene is a bad omen.

There's even a package tour in the works organizers want to call "the Boys of Summer." 'N Sync, Jordan Knight and 5ive are on the bill.

Quoth Don Henley: "I thought I knew what love was/What did I know?/Those days are gone forever/I should just let them go."

For now, however, high-pitched screams continue to echo across the land. The 98 Degrees show is sold out.