By STEPANIE McGRATH
AllPop
We're given a quick glimpse of dozens of gussied-up girls trying to make it to the next cut. Cue voice-over: "For the majority of these girls, the dream will soon be over".
So sad.
Here's the scoop: The judges have to go through at least 70 audition tapes and decide which 25 girls will be invited to Toronto for an intensive dancing/singing audition marathon.
The focus of this episode is on Michael Geddes, of (you guessed it) Lone Eagle Entertainment. Michael spends most of the half-hour show on the phone giving girls a painfully long-winded spiel about how they have talent but he's sorry, they won't be asked back, blah blah blah.
Anyway, the camera pans to what the narrator describes as the "Lone Eagle Offices In Downtown Toronto". There's a disturbing amount of awe in his voice, as though to insinuate that this is the metropolitan mecca of the world.
We see a shot of the judges from the first episode sitting around a desk watching audition tapes.
If any of the cut auditioners are watching this episode, they're about to have their ego crushed in a huge way, because the judges say "but she CAN'T sing!" and make grossed-out faces when they watch at least half of the audition tapes.
The judges review a Polaroid of each girl along with footage of her singing solo during the second round of auditions, singing with a group of four other girls, and dancing to soulDecision.
Cowboy hat girl from last week is not going to make it. She is quite possibly the worst dancer I have ever seen in my whole life. "Saturday Night Live" could do a whole skit about cowboy-hat dancer and it would be consistently hilarious.
Pretty, blond girl with a pink T-shirt and tinted sunglasses (we later find out her name is Leigh) makes it to the final 25. They've shown so much footage of Leigh that she could be in the final five.
Thankfully, the producers have done this neat little graphic for most of the girls to spare us from re-living last week's audition process. We're shown a quick snap of a girl and, magically, a little X or a checkmark shimmers into focus beside her. Really neat special effects.
The episode features a few other elements, a short montage of the girls being told to dance, the judges arguing about who to keep, flash backs to the solo auditions ... but now on to the important stuff: the phone calls.
"A few of the girls are about to get the call of their lives - most will be disappointed," says the mean old narrator.
Conceited girl from last week, who said she has the "look and the air about myself" to be a good popstar, is shown sitting in her office, waiting for the dreaded call.
She nervously picks up the phone and is shocked (and pretty mad) that she didn't make the final five. There are tears, and the camera follows her out of the office as she cries on some unknown man's shoulder. HA! Take that Ms. Air About Yourself.
The phone calls go on and on and on. When the phone rings, most of the girls look ready to faint, so it's really nice of Michael to keep it polite, short and to the point. Here are some excerpts:
"The process is tough, we're giving each and every one a personal phone call. Unfortunately, we can't move you ahead at this point. Hopefully you had an enjoyable journey with us."
"Hi It's Michael from the Popstars TV show." (Just in case the girls weren't expecting his call, especially since they have cameras focused on their faces). He tells them the process was tough, very picky and, "You have some talent, we hope you keep pushing."
Cue tears.
Another girl gets the phone call in her place of work, as her co-workers stand around her like vultures. She doesn't make it. There are more tears.
Michael is very coy with the girls who actually make it, saying things like "The process was very hard, unfortunately we're only allowed to take 25 to Toronto. And we like you so much we've got to get you into Toronto!"
The blond girl with the tinted sunglasses (not Leigh, a different blond girl), who auditioned at the same time I did, makes the final 25.
Yay! The phone calls are done.
Narrator - "From this group of 25, Canada's first all-girl super group will be born".
Next Week - The 25 finalists try to seek fame and fortune at popstar boot camp in Toronto. The narrator warns us that the "competition heats up".
Rating - 2 out of 5. I personally hate talking on the phone, watching people talking on the phone, or overhearing people talk on the phone. So, 30 minutes of Michael Geddes saying the same thing over and over again - ON THE PHONE - is not gripping television.
High Point - Ms. Air About Myself gets cut
Low Point - Cute chubby girls are cut
BUT, I do have high hopes for next week. The dance auditions look gruelling and cruel. I hope the back-stabbing starts soon. I'm not giving up yet.
What are your thoughts on the show?
E-mail us and we'll post your comments.
Popstars Home
The results so far
Popstars Home
Popstars News & Recaps
