By STEPANIE McGRATH
AllPop

This week on "Popstars" ...

Lee cries more than a jilted lover on "Days Of Our Lives", and Dana annoys AllPop more than her co-worker's bad metal music.

Narrator: 22 girls are now all that remain.

(Oh Narrator, how I've missed you. My day just isn't the same without your flare for the dramatic. Will it really be a whole week before I can hear from you again?)

Opening shot: the girls driving to the top secret "Popstars" audition location.

Narrator: They make their journey into downtown Toronto where at least three more girls will be cut.

(Remember what I said last week about this show making Toronto out to be the fame Mecca of the western world? Yeah, well, ditto for this week.)

Oh boy, it's time for Michael to speak to the nervous group of auditioners. You know this is going to be poetic right here:

Michael: "We're turning up the gas, have fun, be loose".

(Ummm, my interpretation of that comment is that Michael and the gang are planning to use poison gas to determine the final five. Whoever doesn't expire from the fumes will make it.)

Okay girls, dance it up!

We're shown a montage of the dance portion of day two of the "Popstars" boot camp.

Our intrepid narrator reminds us that the judges had concerns about many of the girls they allowed to squeak into today's audition process.

We're shown a shot of Dana (tinted-sunglasses girl from my audition) wiggling her bum and doing some crazy head-snap-of-glamour move in time to the music. Hey, that move looks familiar. Oh, that's right. It's the same kind of cheesy '80s dance moves me and Patty Elliot used to do during our Tiffany lip-synch marathons in grade six. (Ummm ... Dana, my dear, I'm pretty sure you're not in grade six, so you might, maybe, want to consider getting yourselves a few new moves. Unless of course you plan to watch "Friday The 13th," eat gummy bears and gossip about the cute boys in French class with Patty after today's audition. )

The narrator reminds us that the judges told Dana to "cool it" during today's audition and not show off so much. Quick shot of Dana's head-snap of glamour. Hee, hee. Good editing, "Popstars" people. That was pretty funny.

The choreographers are getting tough. To prove this, we're shown a shot of them looking serious and wagging their fingers around.

"It's like a painting: You're the artist, make it work", They tell the girls. Yeah, I have no idea what that means either.

Oh no, it's really early in the show and Lee's crying already.

Pretty Lee looks tearful as she sits on the steps of the top-secret downtown audition location. Make-up happy judge Billie Holiday (do you think that's her real name?) tries to comfort her.

It seems as though Lee is having a hard time dealing with the "Popstars" pressure. It's okay, Lee. If I were a judge, you would make the group. You have neat clothes, my boyfriend thinks you're cute, and your singing doesn't make my ears bleed.

Then, just to show Michael has a heart too, we see a shot of him talking to a sad Jenna, who is also having trouble dealing with the "Popstars" pressure.

Bop bop bop do-ahhh and fade to commercial.

Narrator: It's only mid-morning of day two.

And look, there's girl-group hopeful Krista screwing up already. Oh man, I'm no dancer, but this girl is really stinking up the top-secret downtown audition location.

Oh, our friendly narrator has a comment for everybody today, it seems.

Narrator: Dana rightly senses she only squeaked through yesterday.

Oh no, more tears. I sense them and, yes, here they are.

Dana cries in some kind of a bathroom as Billie tries to make her feel better. Dana would not make my girl group.

And now, our special guest star of today's episode, none other than Canadian recording great Jann Arden. I had some sarcastic comments all ready for Jann, but she turned out to be hilarious and super-cool. Jann, if you're reading this, I would like nothing better than to have you be my "Popstars" recap partner.

Jann looks at the camera before entering the room of superstar-hopefuls.

"Maybe they couldn't get anybody else to do this," she says. OMG, she is so funny.

Jann basically talks about how the girls have lots of guts for making it this far and how they need to stay true to themselves since the public will be judging them on their "tits and ass". (Hee, hee, hee. She said "tits and ass" on TV. I love her).

Then Jann serenades the crowd with an a cappella version of "Could I Be Your Girl". And guess what? Lee cries.

After Jann's her motivational speech, she does a brief interview with the ever-present "Popstars" camera. Jann basically shoots down the whole "Popstars" phenomenon, saying that "these contests produce losers" instead of winners, or something like that.

Jann Arden is now my favourite person EVER.

Our old friend the Narrator tells us that solos are up next and ... bop bop bop doaaaaahhhh ... commercial.

Now, each of the 22 girls has a chance to show their stuff as they sing Macy Gray's "I Try" for the panel of judges.

Andrea from Hamilton, Ont., whom we haven't seen much of until now, does amazingly well. She might be a new favourite of mine. The Narrator tells us that her shyness had been a concern for the judges, though.

Oh no! Cool Andrea from Toronto with the funky clothes and cool hair is having trouble. During Michael and the gang's post-solo meeting, someone says our gal Andrea doesn't have "it" in her eyes. Maybe that's how she's able to see that animal-print tops are a fashion faux pas, people!

Speaking of leopard-print dance wear, the judges have now moved on to discussing Angela, who sports a leopard-spotted tank during this episode. Apparently, Angela doesn't have that "star" quality the judges are searching for. Adieu, Angela. You're not coming back to day 3 of "Popstars" boot camp.

Now Lee is up on the chopping block. The Narrator tells us that "the most captivating girl in the group has always been Lee". Why? Because you're fascinated by her tear ducts and how they're able to produce so much water each day? Or maybe that's Narrator-speak for: "The hottest girl in the group has always been Lee".

The judges say our girl Lee is "flat-lining" and cranky. Universal man Brian tells the others that "if she's not out today, she's out tomorrow. I'm telling you right now she's not going to make it."

Billie is in Lee's corner, though, so she could still have a chance. I hope so.

The rest of the judges cave and decide to let Lee stay on for another day. Lee has her head in her hands the whole time the judges give her the good news. Her lips are quivering. She's about to cry.

Lee makes it out of the judges' meeting tear-free and tells her fellow auditioners, "And I didn't cry!!!!" Good for you, Lee.

Now it's Dana's turn. I know that last week I said Dana had a chance, but she's just not cutting it this week. The judges think so, too. They are very unimpressed by Dana's performance lately. But guess what? Today is Dana's birthday, and the judges (Billie) don't think they can cut her on her special day.

Narrator: Dana's birthday present may yet be the break she needs.

So Dana stays on for another day.

Bad, bad dancer Krista gets cut and accepts it gracefully.

OH NO! Andrea from Toronto with the funky clothes and cool hair gets cut. I am so sad.

I don't know who will make it to the final five now. But I think Olivia Newton-John (Jessica) still has a good chance, because the camera focuses on her during every audition.

Shy Andrea from Hamilton is looking good, too.

Other than that, I have no idea.

Next week: "The girls have their say", and auditions continue in the recording studio.

What are your thoughts on the show? E-mail us and we'll post your comments.

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