By STEPANIE McGRATH
AllPop

Narrator: Unexpectedly, the judges face yet another big decision ...

This week on "Popstars": Marla makes a graceless exit from the waterfront condo, the girls work out in matching outfits, and Michael talks.

Bop bop bop do ahhhhhh.

We're shown a wide shot of the girls chowing down on subs and goodies in their spacious abode. (Girls, I do not think that type of food is on the official "Popstars" diet. Do you think J.Lo eats like that? Would Britney's mom allow her to eat that much? Everyone knows you can't sing well unless you have the body to wear belly-tops).

Narrator: The Popstars girls have yet to come down from their collective excitement.

Whatever, they look pretty calm to me.

Now each of the girls gets to say something nice about the experience so far:

Julie - We have a pact to be truly honest with each other. (HA! That's so funny, considering the events to come).

Mirella - I've always leaned toward a pop sound, and this is leaning towards something different. But it's good.

Maiko - I want people not to think of us as flaky. (Maiko, my dear, I don't think you're flaky. Now Mr. Narrator, on the other hand ...)

Sahara - I want to keep a level of peace about things, live for the moment. (I don't. The more back-stabbing comments the better. If I wanted to watch a lovey-dovey show, I'd tune in to "Touched By An Angel".)

Poor old Sahara. Her peaceful world is about to come crashing down - da da dum dummmmm.

We're now in Michael's mucho-importanto Lone Eagle Entertainment office. (Try to contain your excitement everybody).

Michel tells us there are "issues", one of them being that Marla (who I never liked anyway) was picked up by the police. Now, if you're not living under a rock, you would have already heard this melodramatic story. Apparently Marla stole a purse belonging to another "Popstars" hopeful last year and then racked up $2,311 on her VISA card. Classy Marla, very classy.

Allan -- a former judge whom I'm beginning to like almost as much as cranky Brian because of his amazing ability to say goofy things -- pipes up.

"Is this another one of your jokes?," he asks Michael.

No, Allan, it's not but it does make for some great TV, doesn't it!

Michael talks right over Allan and informs him that Marla's done something "even worse" than stealing - she's "severely leaked the band's identity and location".

AHHHHHH, the horror. I'm sure the girl who had her bag stolen is much more concerned about the whole "Popstar" secrecy thing than getting back her money.

"This is what happens when you put five strangers together," sighs Allan.

No Allan, this is what happens when you pick someone who's obviously wrong for the group to be in the final five even while I'm yelling "don't pick Marla for the final five!" at you through my TV screen. Dummy, you should have listened to me. Too bad for you.

Apparently our beloved Marla had six people up to the condo even after Michael told them no parties. Man, that girl is a wild one.

During Michael's discussion with Allan, Marla calls to babble on about getting her stuff back. Apparently the girls want her out of the condo NOW.

"Having her out of our space is important to us," says Sahara. (I guess Sahara is going to take over the Narrator's job of stating the obvious. Isn't that good news?)

Anyway, Michael goes to visits the girls to discuss the Marla trauma.

In the middle of the meeting (in which the girls were very busy talking trash about Marla), Marla walks in.

Michael goes to talk to Marla, who is roughly throwing her things in a bag and saying she wants to call her lawyer. Just when things are getting good and nasty, the camera cuts away.

Did you see the camera cut away when Michael got burnt on "Survivor"? NO! You stay with the gore, people, it gets more viewers.

Michael talks to the rest of the girls for a while about how much Marla let them down by giving away their location and so on.

Right then, my friend Andrew, who just wants to watch the Oscars, yells: "Rule number one about 'Popstars': Don't tell anyone about 'Popstars'" (a la Brad Pitt in "Fight Club".) Anyway, it was funny at the time.

Bop bop bop do ahhh and commercial.

(I'd just like to add an apology to the people who were at my house for my pseudo-Oscar soiree last night. I kept shushing them through "Popstars". I think that made them mad.)

Allan and Michael are trying to decide who will take Marla's place.

Allan: "Do we need a fifth member?"

Oh Allan, you're so goofy.

Anyway, they discuss this issue for a while and finally decide that yes, they want five, and the fifth will be Andrea Henry. YAY! That makes me happy. I love Andrea. (For a while I was worried they'd choose Amber, and in a world filled with her Christina-wannabe notes, I do not wish to live.)

Michael goes to Andrea's house to tell her the good news.

"What!! I didn't know what you guys were coming here for," Andrea shrieks. Don't worry, there will be more shrieking in a few minutes.

Meanwhile ... back in the condo ... the rest of the girls are waiting to find out who will be replacing Marla. When Andrea walks in they go nuts. More shrieking.

Narrator: The circumstances may have come as a complete shock, but Michael's first major "Popstars" decision is clearly a winner."

Yay for Michael.

Andrea is nice. She gives all the girls personalized cards.

What happens after the whole Marla/Andrea business is a segment about how the girls are settling in, learning to live on a budget, cooking things, and remembering to buy toilet paper. Very boring, so we'll skip it.

Okay, that brings us to a clip of the first song they've written together. It's not that bad at all. Actually, it's kind of catchy.

"Pretty damn good ... for a first crack," says cranky old Brian. He's the king of back-handed compliments, that guy.

Next we're shown a shot of the girls working out in matching blue Spandex. That was thrilling mainly because I've never seen people do crazy things like ride stationary bikes before. Fascinating.

Anyway ... the girls are now trying to decide on a band name.

Someone mentions "Intrigue" as a possibility.

"The thing with 'Intrigue' is that you might as well call yourself sexy," whines Sahara.

Now I don't know what she meant, but I agree that it's a pretty stupid name.

Another possibility is "She Said". I Say: "DON'T!"

After a few more stupid names are tossed around, the girls talk about their "image" and then we're told their new name is ... Sugar Jones.

No comment. I'm not even going to try to make a joke about that name.

Narrator: Next time on "Popstars", the girls begin laying down tracks for their very first album.

See you next week.

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