By STEPANIE McGRATH
AllPop

This week on "Popstars" ... the tears are back with a vengeance. We thought our old pal Lee was a crier -- until we saw Sahara get going.

The reason for the tears? Sugar Jones isn't thrilled with their songs. Apparently the music they're recording is too "pop" for them. Hmmmm, good thing nobody called this show "Popstars" or anything.

Oh, I'd just like to mention that this episode had soooo many swears. I heard the judges say the S--- word AND Maiko mouthed the F--- word - on TV! What is this, "The Sopranos"? Come on!

Now, on with the show.

The girls are getting makeovers, and just in case the audience doesn't realize that (even though they're in a salon getting their hair done), the narrator tells us that the girls are working on their image or some such nonsense. Thanks, Narrator. I'm ignoring you today.

Then each girl models for the camera and says they like their new look. Mirella likes her cut, Julie likes her spikes, Sahara likes her colour (it's her "best colour yet!"), Andrea likes her colour, and I forget what Maiko likes but I'm going to assume it was her cut or colour.

Now it's time for the best part of the show, the judges' moment. Brian, Allan, Michael and some other guys we've never really noticed before sit around and whine about how they don't want the girls to release a "crap single", Allan says s***, Brian looks cranky, and Michael talks.

The group then starts to discuss which producer they'll put in the studio with the girls. Justin Grey, who worked with all the auditioners during the "Popstars" bootcamp, is a possibility.

Narrator: The only concern is Justin's pop sensibilities might not fit with the girls' desire for a soulful sound.

How right you are, Narrator, how right you are.

The girls are all assembled to learn who will be producing their first few songs. Michael tells them it will be Justin, and then there is a super-hilarious close-up of Julie's face. She looks completely disgusted. (HA! Let the fights begin.)

Michael obviously notices Julie's displeasure and tries to convince them that Justin is a hip and happening producer.

Michael: "He digs what's happening."

Yeah, Michael, he's groovy all right. The songs he works on are going to be swell. Maybe you and he should go down to Pop Tate's and enjoy a milkshake with two straws.

Now it's time for Justin to speak up.

"My job is to facilitate the record company's direction, and not necessarily the girls'."

OMG, I am so excited. I can smell conflict.

Now comes the tedious part of the show. We're bombarded with footage of the girls recording their first single, "Dayz Like That", for what seems like a good 90 minutes. One by one the girls sing "I can't believe you're back again, something something something, remember when days were like that."

(I woke up this morning singing that song. It haunts me now.)

The girls work on the chorus one by one and Justin makes them record the same line over and over and over, and the really fun part is that we get to hear them sing it over and over and over.

Maiko mouths the F-word, I swear, and I think Mirella might have said the S-word earlier.

The next song the girls' work on is "Honesty". And I honestly don't remember a whole lot about it, but that's no insult to the song. I just was comatose from the never-ending studio footage.

Here we go, let the "creative differences" begin.

The girls sit in a lounge area as they wait their turn to record. Julie tells us there's a lot of waiting and TV watching.

(Well guess what, Julie. In my life there's a lot of bill-paying and no waterfront condo, so zip it.)

Oh boy, we're in the studio again as Sahara is forced to sing "No, no no" a billion times.

Next up is a track titled "Baby Boo". No comment.

Narrator: "Despite their strong performances, they're still insecure."

Maiko finishes recording some vocals and pouts at Justin: "It sounds too pop. I was hoping for more soul."

"It's not called "SoulStars", sweetie," shrieks my boyfriend and then laughs for five minutes. "You gotta use that", he tells me. So there, I've used it. Wasn't that clever?

Sahara isn't happy with the group's sound, either.

"I feel like we sound like chipmunks," she says. (She's a bit whiney, but her hair looks better so I don't mind her now).

Someone, it might be Julie, huffs that "he's (Justin), not the producer for this project".

Narrator: Different opinions are always a part of the creative process.

Thanks Narrator, I know you're involved in many different creative projects in your special little Narrator world.

The girls confront Justin.

Mirella: "We find the track has been sped up a little too much," she says sweetly.

Sahara says something about how she doesn't recognize her voice on the song, and she doesn't "feel good when I hear it".

Oh no, then she starts to cry really hard. (Hey, Sahara, want me to call the Waaambulance? Sorry, that's a Disney joke.)

"I don't think it's anything to get upset about," says Justin nicely, as he tries to explain what can be done to fix the song.

"I'll be in control of what I get upset about, thank you," Sahara snaps.

Wow, I thought she was the "peaceful" one. That was hilarious. Ten bonus points for Sahara. She's my new favourite.

The girls get their way and go back to the studio to record the songs the way they want them.

Narrator: "By early morning, any hint of a musical crisis is clearly over."

Bop bop bop doahhhhh.

While the girls are getting made-up for a publicity shoot, Brian and Michael chat about the girls' dissatisfaction with Justin.

Brian is cranky.

"I think the girls should be on a need-to-know basis, but they've been given so much rope and they keep pulling for more," says Michael.

Oh boy, there are more fights on the horizon. I can sense it.

Michael, Brian and Allan confront the girls and basically tell them to suck it up and do what they're told.

"The concern is, you guys ... this record is not going to be one hundred percent what you want it to be," says Brian.

"We will make this record right," says Allan.

The girls insist that they like Justin "as a person". (But that they really don't want to go to the prom with him.)

Sahara looks like she's going to cry again. And all of a sudden, Mirella loses it.

"I really, really want it so much". No, I don't know what she's talking about (bad editing).

Then she says something about how she likes pop music 'cause that's her background.

Basically, the moral of this story is that the record company asserted its power and the girls learned to deal with it.

Bop Bop Bop doaaaahhh.

The girls are in the studio AGAIN. This time with a different producer, and they're working on a song that's called either "How Much Longer" or "Beautiful".

It sounds pretty good, and the girls are very happy with it. We know this because they sing along in unison with the track and smile and hug when it's over, not because the Narrator says: "The girls couldn't be happier".

Next time on "Popstars"... the girls rehearse and shoot their first video, for "Dayz Like That". It will premiere on the show next week.

See you then.

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