By STEPHANIE McGRATH
AllPop

This week on "Popstars", Sugar Jones meets the press -- over and over and over again. (And soulDecision makes AllPop mad).

The awe-inspiring opening shot of the episode zooms in on a box full of Sugar Jones' single, "Days Like That". Wow, CD singles. That's a gripping opening scene. Must. Watch. What happens next.

Mr. Narrator tells us that the "Popstars project is about to go public". I'm on the edge of my seat.

Anyway, the girls are given a "crash course on what to expect" from the big, bad evil media by a random PR person who hopes to keep the girls from telling reporters something stupid.

Our PR expert tells Sugar Jones that every now and then they'll get "hit" with a question they weren't expecting. He also tells them that when they're doing a TV interview they should look a reporter in the face. (Good advice. If he hadn't said that they might have spent their TV spots waving at the camera and mouthing "Hi, mom" or something. This is so dumb.)

He goes on to say that when they're doing a print interview, they should immediately find out what sort of publication the interview will appear in. (This is the first of many snide comments directed at print media this episode. I'm cranky already.)

Just in case the audience might possibly wonder if Sugar Jones is being told exactly what to say in interviews, the PR guy tells them it "isn't about telling the girls what to say, but what's expected of you".

The girls get to practice answering interview questions by listening to recorded questions left by Sugar Jones fans. The callers ask how long they've been singing for, if they really get along, who their influences are, and if they're worried about people thinking they're manufactured.

When the "manufactured" question is asked, all the girls sort of gasp and say "Ooooh, manufactured, there's that famous word".

Girls, here's a hint: If your group was created ON TV through a series of AUDITIONS then you shouldn't really be surprised if people ask how you plan to deal with the whole concept of being manufactured, now, should you?

Maiko gets it together and blabs about how many acts on the Motown label were manufactured back in the day. That's a decent answer. I like Maiko.

Anyway, this question and answer business goes on and on and on. It's very boring so we'll skip it.

Next up is the group's FIRST EVER PRESS CONFERENCE!!!

Wooowweeeee.

The girls are getting ready to take the stage to answer questions. Former judge and Kiss 92 DJ Billie Holiday comes over to see the girls in their dressing room. She gives them this enormous, elaborate hug, and makes "so proud of you" squealing noises. The funny thing is that she manages to hug without touching. That's some sort of talent right there.

(Note: I've just noticed now that they've been playing "Days Like That" through the entire show. It will be whirling around in my brain for the rest of the week now. Thanks, guys.)

Anyway, the narrator talks endlessly about how proud the judges are of the girls and how this press conference is Sugar Jones' "coming out" party.

As the girls prepare to answer their first set of questions, the narrator tells us that Sugar Jones' "dreams and hopes are no longer theirs alone".

If you know what he meant by that, please e-mail me. I am so confused.

OH NO! They just showed me asking the girls a question. I looked so funny right there, I may no longer be able to make fun of anyone else on this show ever again. Man, if I wasn't me and I was recapping this show I'd make fun of me for the rest of this recap. (See, I can poke fun at myself. These recaps are all in good fun people, so all of you who fire off those "you are so mean" e-mails to me when the summaries go up should just chill out.)

Anyway, if you want to know what happened during the Sugar Jones press conference, you can just read our story about it right here, because the TV version is long and boring. I was there, I wrote about it, and I have no intention of writing about it again.

So the next morning, Sugar Jones sits around and looks at all the stories about them in various Toronto publications. One story says Sugar Jones sounds more like the name of a Quentin Tarantino project than a pop group. Sahara gets very excited by this because it's "hip, it's happening". Yes Sahara, if by hip and happening you mean a has-been director who was hip in 1994 when "Pulp Fiction" was released. Get with the times, people.

Bop bop bop do-ahhhh.

Next up is a seemingly never-ending segment of the girls going from one radio interview to another. Here are some highlights:

Mirella - We're just being ourselves Maiko - We're down to earth Andrea - It's all about being real.

A million annoying DJs later, the narrator tells us that the media's response to Sugar Jones has been "positive".

Randy Lennox of Universal tells the camera that "we didn't pick playmates here".

Again, if you know what he means, feel free to e-mail.

Next there's a special Sugar Jones reception at Universal. The girls croon "Days Like That" a cappella for their audience, and let me just say that Sahara wore the biggest earring in the history of the world for the mini-show. They scared me. I had nightmares about being trapped in her enormous earrings last night.

The girls are then given copies of their single in snazzy cases.

Narrator: "The last stop of the day is the most special and all that will stand between them and the press."

The girls squeal over their single.

(Note: Somewhere during this show there was a shot of Sugar Jones singing "How Much Longer". I like that song, it's catchy. I woke up singing it.)

Anyway, after their little reception the girls sit down to chat with "One of Universal's most successful and still rising acts: soulDecision".

Okay, here's where I get really cranky.

Lead singer Trevor (most Canadian gals think he's dreamy) warns them about getting used to the crazy pace of touring and interviewing.

Then, Dave pipes up with the dumbest comment in the history of the world. ***NOTE: Before I tell you what Dave says, consider this - AllPop has been nothing but sugary-sweet to soulDecision. We like them. We gave their CD a great review and we were interviewing them before they got all snazzy and famous. I don't think AllPop has ever said anything negative about them EVER.

Dave: Never trust anyone in print.

Then he goes on and on and on, all knowingly, about how print always twists what you say and can make you look bad. He acts all cranky and bossy.

Humphhh, now I'm mad.

Oh, and Dave has a crush on Sahara.

"Sahara? Beautiful," he says.

(Okay, that's out of my system now, I feel better. I still like soulDecision, but Dave is not my favourite anymore.)

Anyway, soulDecision drops Sugar Jones off for a late-night rehearsal in a LIMO (hmmm, believe in hype much guys?).

The girls are practising for their FIRST EVER LIVE PERFORMANCE.

They have a few cute, swingy dance steps to go with "Days Like That".

Ooooh, there may be trouble in paradise, 'cause Sahara is very bossy and tries to explain exactly how the other girls should be dancing.

Highlight of this scene: Julie is wearing a super-cool Charlie Brown T-shirt. She is my favourite for sure.

Next time: It's the countdown to the group's first ever live performance! (Does this mean they'll finally show the FIRST EVER LIVE PERFORMANCE? 'Cause they've only been talking about it for about three weeks now.)

**Please Note: If you are offended by the "Popstars" recaps please remember that we tease because we love. Do you really think we'd devote so much time to the show if we couldn't stand it?

What are your thoughts on the show? E-mail us and we'll post your comments.

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