Rob Schneider talks to AllPop

TORONTO -- Rob Schneider, of "Saturday Night Live" fame, has a new movie titled "The Animal" in which his character, Marvin Mange, has a nasty accident and is re-built -- with animal parts. Highlights include Marvin romancing a goat, saving a drowning boy dolphin-style, and feeding a baby turkey worms from his mouth.


AllPop sat down with Schneider in Toronto recently to talk about the movie, animals, Adam Sandler, and "Survivor" sweetheart (and "Animal" co-star) Colleen Haskell.

Q: What are your pet peeves?

A: 1. Getting stuck in traffic

2. Getting to the airport and being late

3. Being in the city where there's no restaurants after midnight

4. Someone ordering desert and then not eating it and then I have to eat it

5. Garbage night

6. Having fat pants and having them be too tight on you

7. The next-door gardener waking me up with the blower

8. Black-outs in California

9. Cars that only get two miles out of a gallon; people who drive them

10. No health care in the United States.

Q:If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

A: I think I've always considered myself a big, dumb dog. A good-sized dog, but not too big. I'm always looking for a sandwich and a place to lay down and take a nap. But I really like the orang-utang and chimpanzees [from "The Animal"]. They're so human. The orang-utang is stronger than me. My neck is the only thing that still hurts from that movie. He got me in a head-lock, and he was having a little bit too much fun.

Q: Does it take forever to shoot a movie using lots of animals?

A: Took forever to shoot, yeah. We got lucky more times than not. The dumb ones aren't the animals that I loved. The animals that had the intelligence of a five-year-old child, like the parrots, were great. The seal was smarter than a dog, and I love dogs. The chimpanzee ... him doing stuff was so remarkable. And he just wanted to hang out with me. He remembered me, I just saw him a couple days ago. I went and visited him. I love those animals.

Q: If you were on "Survivor" with Adam Sandler, who would win?

A: I've gotta say Adam. You have to give him the edge because he is about as competitive and determined as ... He's like a professional athlete, he'd get the edge athletically. But I'd say I'm more crafty. So I would find probably more things to eat. It would be a tough one, 'cause I'm also, inside, very competitive. And if it came to a struggle for survival, I wouldn't bet against me. Physically, he'd do okay.

Q: Did you watch "Survivor" when Colleen [Haskell] was on it?

A: I didn't really see it until I heard we might be working with her, and I said, 'What! Are you guys nuts?', and then I saw her and I got it right away. She was awesome. She can't do anything but be natural. She said she'd never acted before, and I said 'Don't start now'. When it came time I had to lick her face [for the movie], we didn't rehearse. I went and looked in the camera and made sure we were looking in the right direction, and I went up and I licked her face and I kind of got into her eyeball a little bit, not the whole ball. She gave the greatest reaction and her line really made sense then: "It's either the nicest thing that ever happened to me or the grossest". So sweet. And I didn't mind kissing her, either. She's cute.

Q: What was the best part of making "The Animal"?

A: Writing something really funny and then getting to make it. That's really rewarding. The performing I enjoy, too. I try not to have too much of an ego. I'll do anything. I have a romantic scene with a goat. I try not to worry about what that's going to look like. If you worry about looking stupid, that's when you look really stupid.

Q: Do you ever go over the top and think, no, I'm going to take it back a bit?

A: Yeah. I did a scene with the goat where I'm being romantic with the goat, and you pan down my face and I'm laughing and then you pan down my chest and you see the goat's tail is tickling my nipples. I still think that's funny, but we cut it out because it made some people uncomfortable, and uncomfortable in a bad way.