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Wednesday, March 12, 2002
Buffy Review: Vampires are just bad dreams
By STEPHANIE McGRATH -- AllPop
Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 6, Episode 16
WARNING: SPOILERS
O.M.G. that was the best way in the world to end "Buffy", I mean, can you think of a more suitable ending for the series? I, my dear friends, can not. All this time I thought Joss ruined it for himself when he killed her off (which I then thought was the best way to end the show), only to revive her with a spell.
 The Scoobies |
"What are you doing Joss? You should have saved the Buffy death for the grand old finale of the show!" I yelled at Joss in my head (because I don't really know him you see and so I can't really yell at him in person). "Now you've got no good way to end "Buffy" up when the show is finally ready to say good-bye and it's going to turn into some sort of terrible 'X-File' thingy where NOTHING is explained or resolved EVER!" I continued to yell.
Then, after tonight, I understood his plan! This, this is the only possible way to wrap up such a crazy complicated program! Oh, wait a minute...that wasn't the end of the show forever you say? But it would have been perfect.
"Joss or Marti or whoever wrote that....WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! You totally should have saved this episode for the end, end, end!".
Anyway, to sum up: last night's episode rocked until the end when I realized that this would have been the perfect way to finish "Buffy" off forever and then got pissed off at the writers for wasting such a good idea before the show's final season. Humph!
Note: Thanks to everyone who wrote in last week reminding me that Anya's little old demon boss was trying to tempt her into returning to life as a demon at the very end of last week's episode. I did see that part actually but as I mentioned in last week's recap, a phone call disrupted my "Buffy" viewing so I wasn't really able to recap with the same gusto or detail as I usually do. Sorry.
Okay, we start off with a scene of Buffy walking down a street at night wearing some weird little hat I don't like and staring at a list of "new rentals" (she's stalking the geek trio you see).
Meanwhile, the little geeks (who are becoming ever-so-annoying) are going a bit stir crazy as they're nervous about getting caught for the murder of Warren's ex-girlfriend (from a few episodes ago). The geeks look through some stupid little contraption and notice that Buffy is quickly approaching their den of danger. Little magic geek blows on a didgeridoo and -- poof -- an ugly-looking demon appears. This is one tough demon who manages to stab Buffy with one of his claws and -- poof -- Buffy is curled up in the corner of what is obviously a hospital room getting a shot. Another shot of vacant-eyed patients and restraints lets us know she's in a hospital or wing of a hospital that houses patients suffering from mental illness. (See how PC that sentence was. I do not wish to offend anyone. Except for maybe Xander who is a dumby.)
Credits
Buffy wakes up again in Sunnydale in her weird little outfit.
Now we're over to Willow (and it's daytime) who is practicing lines to try on Tara while she waits for her at the university. It's kind of cute. Those two are getting back together.
So Willow sees Tara approaching and gets all excited but then sees Tara act all flirty, flirty with another girl and give the other girl a chaste kiss. Willow looks ill and runs off. Tara, of course, turns just in time to see her jetting.
Buffy, who is still working at the Double Meat Palace (even though she ran out on her shift when Riley appeared), is making fries when -- poof -- she's back in the hospital and then -- poof -- she's back at the Double Meat and has burnt the fries.
Back at Buffy's house, Willow is checking to see if Xander emailed her (he disappeared after the wedding-that-wasn't remember?) and telling Buffy about seeing Tara act flirty with another girl. Buffy tries to comfort Willow (and is being very nice and attentive, that's what we like to see Buffy).
Just then, Xander bursts in and hugs abound. Xander says he tried to find Anya and was disturbed when he saw the Magic Box is closed. Her suitcase is apparently gone from the apartment and the ladies say she was broken-hearted and took off.
Xander: blah, blah, blah "love her" blah blah blah, "a better person with her in his life" blah blah blah "has a painful hole inside" blah blah blah wants to get back together with Anya.
Me: Too bad dumby. I'm not Dr. Phil or anything, but I think that running out on your wedding is probably not the best way to strengthen your relationship. You are so DUMB! Me thinks Anya is returning to demon form and could, possibly, be the one that bites the big one this season.
Now Buffy is walking around in the graveyard when she runs into Spike who has apparently been out grocery shopping or something. Buffy tells him about the wedding fiasco. Spike is surprised and says:
"Yeah, well, some people can't see a good thing when they've got it," (which is obviously a dig at Buffy who had something with Spike and part of the something was apparently good.)
Xander and Willow show up and Spike gets in Xander's face about the failed wedding. Xander gets snappy back and it looks like they're ready to rumble. Willow tries to break it up and it's kind of funny.
Uh-oh....Buffy has folded on the ground and wakes up in the hospital.
The doctor asks if she knows where she is, she says "Sunnydale" and he tells her "None of that's real, none of it,". Buffy has apparently been in the hospital for six years. Guess what? In this world, Buffy's mom is alive and her dad is still around. Buffy's mom asks Buffy to "stay" with them but BANG, now she's back in the graveyard.
Willow, Xander and Spike have noticed that something is bothering their favourite slayer. Spike offers to take her back to his crypt but Xander nastily brushes him off and escorts Buffy home.
"Put a little ice on the back of her neck. She likes that," mutters Spike.
So Buffy tells her pals about the hospital and how the doctor says that none of them are real. Xander funnily lists off vampires and monsters and such and says they're real (that's funny you see because it totally sounds so crazy). Buffy tells Dawn their mom was there. Willow guesses that it's research time.
 Buffy |
BOOM, Buffy is back in the hospital. The doctor is explaining to her parents that in Buffy's mind, she's "the central figure in an elaborate delusion". He explains how she keeps making up monsters and "fanciful enemies". He explains that she's created a sister and how she isn't real either and says that what keeps her going in the fantasy land is the group of fictional friends she's created.
"They aren't as comforting as they once were, they're coming apart," he says to Buffy about her friends and her fantasies. (Which is kind of true you see. In Sunnydale, Buffy isn't happy any more and isn't being fulfilled. She has nothing going for her really. She's in a rut. That makes this alternate reality appealing to her and makes it easier for her to believe that Sunnydale is fake. Get it?)
The doctor goes on to say that what she's fighting isn't "fantastical demons" anymore either, "just three pathetic little men," which is also hurting her "fake" world.
Meanwhile, the geeks are getting super testy. Warren and blond-ish geek have kind of teamed up while the short little magic geek is getting suspicious of their friendship and feels a bit left out. (That's really all there is to these fellows this week. It's just a set up for further trouble in their little band and a chance for Warren to break out and be really bad and such.)
Buffy is still at home, mooning over photos of her intact family when she was young. Willow tells her that she's found the demon that opened the alternate reality door and the good news is that:
"Its poky stinger carries an antidote to its own poison," ha, funny dialogue. I think the writers really need to bring back the old weird ways of speech the characters were famous for back in the old days. I miss it.
Buffy tells Willow she's confused. She can't figure out if Sunnydale and the Scoobies are real or not. Willow says they most definitely are. (Then again, if I was fake and I didn't know it I would totally say I was real. I have no desire to be a hallucination or part of some elaborate delusion. I would really only want to be part of a fantasy if it included my marriage to Johnny Depp.)
Buffy tells Willow that she was in an institution when she saw her first vampires and told her parents about the experience. She spent a couple of weeks there and was released when she stopped talking about the monsters.
"What if I'm still there? What if I never left that clinic?" says Buffy in a weepy voice. Sad.
Meanwhile, Spike and Xander are searching the forest for the bad demon.
"Bloody self-centred if you ask me," Spike says about Buffy's suspicions that they're all a hallucination. Spike goes on to say that, on the other hand, being part of a fantasy would explain why he has a stupid chip in his head that prevents him from sucking on blood, why he fell in love with Buffy and became her sex slave.
Xander is confused by the last statement and Spike tries to cover-up his faux pas. (Why are you covering for her Spike? It's over, why do you care if anyone finds out about your little romance? Just tell already, this is becoming annoying sort of like when no one could see Snuffleupagus on "Sesame Street" but Big Bird. Arggghhhh, secrets are only good on shows if they last for like, two episodes.)
Just then the demon jumps out at them and Spike says, "oh balls, you didn't tell me it was a [something I can't remember how to say]".
"That's 'cause I couldn't say it," says Xander, stealing the words right out of my mouth.
Together, Spike and Xander manage to knock the demon out.
"I altered his reality, get it," says Xander. (Okay, that was funny. I laughed. But I'm still mad at you Xander.)
Back at Buffy's place, Dawn is chatting with Buffy in her room, trying to make her feel better. She notices that Buffy has a fever.
"I'm coming apart," Buffy tells her sister. Then she gets all panicky like she knows she's losing control and grab Dawn's arm.
"We have to try harder, we have to deal with these things Dawn," says Buffy referring to Dawn's grades, her stealing issues and their relationship in general and then --- poof --- she's back in the hospital.
Joyce (a.k.a. Buffy's mom) is telling Buffy that she doesn't have a sister. Then she asks Buffy to repeat what she just said so Buffy says that she doesn't have a sister. Buffy reaches out to touch her mother's cheek and -- boom -- she finds herself back at home, reaching out to Dawn.
And here comes the whining.
Dawn, who heard her saying she doesn't have a sister says:
"I'm not even there am I? It's your ideal reality and I'm not even a part of it," freak out time for Dawn. Well, we were given a whine respite during the wedding episode I guess.
Willow, Xander and Spike are trying to control the demon (that's awake now) to get the juice from his claw and whip up a cure for Buffy. They get the stuff.
The next morning, Willow enters Buffy's room with the antidote, tells her to drink it and that "everything will go back to normal," -- dum dum dum duuuuuuuuuum (what if life in Sunnydale and Willow herself aren't part of the norm though?)
Willow leaves to tell Dawn that Buffy is about to get better as Spike enters the room.
"Leave me alone, you're not a part of my life," Buffy snaps at him, leaving us to wonder if she means that in relation to her confusion about what is real or if she's referring to their sexual escapades.
Spike, thank goodness, acts as the voice of reason and basically tells her to snap out of it and stop thriving on her depression. Which she's kind of been doing for the ENTIRE SEASON.
"You're addicted to the misery," he tells her. "Let yourself live already."
Spike also says that the reason she's not telling her friends about their old romance is because there's a chance they would accept it and she could let herself be happy or they would shut her out and she could choose life with him. Right now, she's just balancing in the middle, wallowing in her indecision and unhappiness and not doing anything to change her situation. Basically, she needs to watch about 40 "Participaction/Get In The Action/Do It Do It Do It" commercials and then shake off her blues.
"You either tell your friends about us or I will," hisses Spike before he leaves.
Buffy takes a long, hard look at the cup of antidote in her hand, then pours it out. Now she's back in the hospital.
"I won't want to go back there. I want to be healthy again. What do I have to do?" she asks her mom and her doctor. "Help me, I want to go home with you and dad."
The doctor tells Buffy that she needs to say good-bye to her fantasy land. He tells her that the reason she keeps going back to her delusions is because of her friends. The doctor says that last summer she had a momentary awakening and that "it was them that brought you back". Man, that's just creepy. The suggestion is that when she died, she really just came out of her delusion and then went back to her fantasy land, creating the premise that Willow and company brought her back to life with a spell. The doctor is saying that her death wasn't really a death but a brief break in her mental problems that returned when she realized she couldn't let go of the gang. Man, creeped out.
Yikes.
BOOM -- Buffy is back at home. She enters the kitchen and Willow asks if she's feeling better. There's a little blip and Xander walks in the door, calling out for Willow and Buffy.
"Hello, I'm back, clean and with a better smell now," he yells, making me laugh against my will.
He finds Buffy looking a bit like a Zombie and holding a frying pan over the sink. He's chatting away about how he almost feels badly for Spike and his obsession with Buffy and then BAM, Buffy walks him with the frying pan and then beats him up. She drags him downstairs, ties him up and tapes his mouth. Willow and the demon are also tied up and gagged in the basement.
Hello creepy town, nice to see you.
Anyway, Buffy walks back upstairs all scary-like and starts calling for Dawn. (Run Dawn run!).
Dawn asks if she's okay and then says she's going over to Janice's because "they actually like having me around," (oh groan, please, your sister has been poisoned, give it a rest. )
"You're going downstairs with the others, it's the only way I can get healthy," says Buffy.
Dawn gets freaked out and shuts her door but Buffy knocks it down.
Dawn cries that she needs Buffy, that she's real, that she loves her.
"So what's more real?" Buffy asks calmly. "A girl in an institution or some kind of super girl chosen to fight demons and save the world?" (Good point Buffster but you're still freaking us all out here.)
Buffy breaks down a second door and drags Dawn downstairs.
Woosh -- Buffy is back in the hospital. Joyce is encouraging her daughter to rid herself of her delusional world (a.k.a. destroy her friends) and to take her time.
Back at her house, Buffy releases the demon on her friends. Xander screams for help, for Buffy to stop. Upstairs, Tara knocks on the door and enters.
"Keep concentrating" Joyce tells Buffy in the hospital.
Tara, at Buffy's house, hears screaming and runs to the basement where she casts a spell and frees the Scoobies, allowing them to fight back. Buffy grabs Tara's leg through the stairs and trips her.
"You're a survivor, you can do this," Buffy's mom tells her in the hospital, encouraging her to go through with ending her life in Sunnydale.
Willow gets smacked around and flash -- in the hospital, Buffy whimpers and calls her name.
Joyce tells Buffy she's doing well, to stay with her, that she's strong and she can do this. Buffy looks up at her mom and says: "You're right. Thank you. Good-bye."
Her mom looks dismayed and Buffy goes back to Sunnydale and destroys the demon, saving her friends.
Xander, Tara, Dawn and Willow look shocked. Buffy says she needs the antidote. She's going to stay with them.
Back in the hospital, the doctor is shining a light in Buffy's catatonic eyes.
"I'm sorry, there's no reaction at all. I'm afraid we've lost her."
Buffy's parents sob.
The End.
Man! Crazy! How about this if it was the last, last episode of the show: Buffy does let her friends get killed and chooses life as a girl coming out of her mental illness, who has her family intact. So the last, last scene of the show FOREVER would be flash -- scene of Xander, Dawn and Willow dead -- flash -- scene of Buffy going off to live with her parents -- last flash -- shot of the doctor, baring vampire teeth. THE END. Wouldn't that be crazy good? See it would be so deep saying that Buffy chose one life as a non vampire slayer but in the end would continue to face them and ultimately live through the same things. Man, that would be soooo good. Come on Joss, give me a job.
Overall: I'm sort of confused as to whether or not we're supposed to think that the hospital life could be real or if both lives could be real or what. Whatever, it was cool. Still though, it would have been such an amazing way to end the show. I'm really worried that when the final episode comes around it's going to be something lame and I really, really, really hope it isn't. I give this episode 4 stakes out of five.
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